My least favorite part of dating


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Hi Reader!

One of my least favorite parts of dating is texting.

All of the dead-end conversations on the apps that begin with "How's it going" or just "Hi" are enough to make me want to throw my phone at the wall.

But the worst is when I've met a guy, gone on a few dates, have a big crush, and find myself obsessively checking my phone to see if they've texted me.

It. Is. So. Painful.

But why is that? I have literally just met this guy, and somehow, him texting me feels like a life or death situation.

Well...since I'm an astrologer, I know why.

It's right there in my chart.

So where is this texting anxiety coming from?

Mercury, the Moon, and Venus.

As I've mentioned in previous emails, I have my Moon in Scorpio, which means that I have intense, deep emotions that I cling to for dear life. And it's connected to Chiron, the wounded healer. So when I am left hanging, I feel big feelings about it...and then tell myself I'm not worthy of love.

My Mercury is in Gemini, which means my mind is extremely quick, and I often overthink things. It also means that I like verbal processing. So when someone I'm talking to is MIA, I feel uncomfortable and lost.

My Venus is in Taurus. This means I value consistency in relationships. When I date someone who isn't consistent, it doesn't align with what I'm looking for in a partner, and it makes me question whether to continue or just throw in the towel before I lose my mind.

So, what do I do to take care of myself when these feelings come up?

I take care of my Moon by letting myself feel the big feelings, locating them in my body, and then actively releasing them. (Not an easy task for a Scorpio Moon!)

I take care of my Mercury by calling a friend and verbally processing with someone I love and trust. If a friend isn't available, I talk to my spirit guides.

I take care of my Venus by getting grounded in my body, taking a walk, coming back to the present, and doing other Taurus-like things.

These activities help me feel better because I am showing up for myself and taking care of the activated parts of me.

Then, because I know that I need more consistency in communication, if someone is inconsistent for more than a few weeks, I tell them it's not working for me. I value my own security and happiness over trying to make it work with someone who isn't able to show up for me.

If dating or relationships are challenging for you, it's not because there's something wrong with you. It's because dating and relationships are hard for everyone.

The flavor of difficulty can usually be traced back to your Moon (your unconscious patterns, needs, and inner world), Mercury (how you perceive and communicate), and Venus (what you value and are attracted to).

Once you understand how these parts of you work, you'll be able to show up for yourself and give yourself the love and attention you've been craving from a partner - and to bravely advocate for your needs.

Here's to you and your worthy heart,

Daniela

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Befriending the Zodiac

I’m a coach who uses tarot and astrology to help self-doubters transform their relationship with themselves so that they can stop playing small and create the life they want. I believe that tarot and astrology are a ton of fun…and when you use them on a regular basis, they are truly powerful catalysts to creating the life you want. I write about how I use these tools in my life on a daily basis.

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